The Mistress Manual review

I've read much about female domination and domination in general on the internet, but I'd never read an actual book on the subject. Enter The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance by Mistress Lorelei.



In addition to all of the wonderful sex toys I want to review for Tabutoys.com, I decided I wanted to try all sorts of products like their books & DVDs as well. The Mistress Manual is part of their SM and Fetish books section. I recommend that you check out all they have to offer. But now for the book review.

Mistress Lorelei has written an informative and entertaining book for novice dominatrices. I was amused throughout the entire book. Lorelei has broken it down into three parts: Becoming a Mistress, The Mistress in Action, and The Five Archetypal Fantasies. Note her use of the word fantasy. Fantasy is the basis for this book, so if you're looking for advice for a 24/7 female led relationship, or if you believe in actual female supremacy, you'll probably want to give this book a pass. Also, it's geared toward straight women, so I doubt women who define themselves otherwise will find this book very helpful.

To me, this book is more playful than serious, yet Lorelei takes the relationships and communication between partners very seriously. She stresses throughout the book the need to communicate with your partner and how important the needs of both are. Yet she never loses the main point of her book: the female is in charge and what she decides for her submissive is law. But a good mistress is always aware of her submissive and his feelings and desires. It's really a well balanced outlook.

According to Lorelei, the most important things for a novice dominatrix to convey her dominance over her male is through her attitude and the way she carries herself (her carriage). She even discusses how costumes and particular clothes go a long way toward conveying dominance, such as leather and high heels and boots. However, she impresses upon the reader that clothes aren't the be and end all, that a woman is just as capable of dominating her male in a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers as she is in PVC and stilettos. It's all about what the woman is most comfortable with, after all she is the mistress. I appreciate that Lorelei did not write a one-true-way view of domination.

I'm going to list the table of contents here for you so you'll have a good idea of the information contained within the book, without my giving away anything.

INTRODUCTION: How to Use the Mistress Manual

PART ONE: Becoming a Mistress
1. Why Become a Mistress?: Some Unexpected Pleasures
2. The Reluctant Mistress: Learning to Love Command
3. Finding (Or Creating) a Submissive Male
4. Maintaining Your Relationship: Balancing Fantasy and Reality

PART TWO: The Mistress in Action
5. Establishing Your Authority: Ways to Make Him Obey
6. Asserting Your Dominance: Planning, and Enacting Your First Session
7. The Art of Discipline: Advice, Techniques, and Implements
8. The Skills of a Mistress: Bondage, Humiliation, and Other Forms of Control

PART THREE: The Five Archetypal Fantasies
9. Fantasies: Discovering His, Fulfilling Yours
10. The Nursemaid: Diaper Discipline and Other Nursery Tricks
11. The Governess: The Power of Discipline
12. The Queen: Maid Service and Petticoat Punishment
13. The Amazon: Bondage, Discipline, and Humiliation
14. The Goddess: Keeping a Worshipper at Your Feet

She concludes the book with Ten Rules for a Successful Mistress and a glossary of female dominance terms. It is from this glossary that I give you the definitions of the five archetypes and their corresponding submissives. The only missing one is an adult infant/toddler, but then we can pretty much glean from the names just what that means.

The Nursemaid – A Mistress who specializes in handling the most recalcitrant and juvenile adult males, those who must be treated as infants or toddlers because they persist in acting like them.

The Governess – A Mistress who express the superior moral position of Females by her tuition of the lowly adult schoolboy. Such tuition generally consists of applied ethics – applied vigorously to the quivering, blushing nether cheeks of her charge.

schoolboy – A submissive adult male who realizes that in his youth he did not sufficiently obey or attend to the Women in his life. He attempts to atone for his negligence by assuming a subservient role, accepting teaching and punishment from a powerful Female.

The Queen – A Dominant Female who prefers to be served by a sissy male. She controls her submissives through shame, discipline, and especially feminization.

sissy maid – A submissive lucky enough to serve a Queen by following her orders to dress and act as a Female. Commonly does her housework, worships at her Shrine, and fulfills her other desires.

The Amazon – A dominatrix who enjoys capturing and tormenting recalcitrant males. Very much like an ancient Amazon, she is a warrior and ruler.

The Goddess – A Mistress who allows mere males to rise from their low position by worshipping the glory of her Womanhood. She demands praise and attention, and severely castigates those who deviate from her rule.

slave – A male who is possessed, controlled, and punished by a Female Dominant. Virtually synonymous with submissive, but most likely to have fantasies of the Amazon or Goddess archetype.

All five archetypes are broken down into an introduction, followed by the elements of each fantasy archetype; the skills of the Mistress; the pleasures of the Mistress; the needs of the submissive; enacting the scene with 3 acts; and finishing up with variations of each fantasy.

It would be easy to snigger and make snarky comments over the titles and the details of these fantasies, and I'm sure some of you are doing just that. Hell, a few things raised my eyebrows and made me giggle (hello Worshipping at Her Shrine!). But I get it. And like it or not, there are women and men who are turned on by these very things and who will likely benefit from this book. I found each archetype to be well represented and I understood the P.O.V. of each female and male role.

Lorelei uses language that is easy to understand while also constantly underscoring everything with a sense of female superiority and (sometimes) emotional detachment. It acts as a subtle reminder for the novice dominatrix that she is in control and that she is worthy of all that is given her by her submissive male.

Lorelei's manual will make a nice addition to my growing collection of sex-related books. It's a nifty little reference book and the odds are good that I'll give this a few more reads. I recommend it to novice dominatrices everywhere and even for those who are just curious. So, buy The Mistress Manual today!

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